How Tesla is trying to kill you
Update: a couple of months after this post, Tesla released an update. You can now pin 4 key functions to the bottom bar of the screen. We’ve got windscreen wipers and defrost down there.
Update: recently Tesla updated it again and now sometimes music options will appear to the left of the pinned functions, meaning sometimes the windscreen wiper is right where you want it. Sometimes it isn’t.
There is one fundamental thing about driving a car: don’t hurt or kill anyone. There’s a bunch of other things, but that one is key.
A recent update from Tesla has broken a bunch of things that means driving my Tesla is way my dangerous and I’m more likely to get into accident. That’s bad for me and you.
Braking
Twice in the last week while driving my Tesla, I’ve had no regenerative braking. With no warning or indication that there’s a problem. Regenerative braking is key to braking in an electric car and occurs when you take your foot off the accelerator.
Imagine that sometimes you get in a car and 50% of your braking is gone. Sometimes it isn’t.
Braking is fundamental to NOT KILLING PEOPLE.
Rain
There used to be a button on the screen to turn on, off windscreen wipers. The button was in the same place and would bring up more options. The button was close to the driver and you got trained to find it if you drove in wet weather, like in Vancouver.
That button is gone.
You can get to it by pressing the stalk, but that also triggers the wipers to wipe. There are multiple situations where you might not want to do that.
But don’t auto wipers in the Tesla work? No. They are shit. Just don’t even try.
When you are driving in less then ideal conditions, stressed or dangerous conditions you need access to these things quickly.
Being able to see where you are going in the rain is fundamental to NOT KILLING PEOPLE.
Cold
Windscreens fog up because people breath, which is such an inconvenience. When your windscreen fogs up, you need to clear it.
There used to be a button for this.
The button is gone.
You can get to it by swiping up on the air temperature section and then finding it in the menu.
Again, you sometimes need to do this quickly and in less than ideal conditions.
Being able to see where you are going in the cold is fundamental to NOT KILLING PEOPLE.
Others
People complain about other things in the update, how it seems unfinished, access to seat heaters and so on is harder. I can cope with those, they are bad and Tesla should reconsider.
But losing access to brakes, harder access to wipers and defogging is critical to NOT KILLING PEOPLE.
You can really see an update by people who don’t seem to drive a car in anything other than perfect California weather.
Update: a few months later Telsa let you move a few buttons down to the bottom bar. We’ve got windscreen wipers, front defrost and rear defrost there. I’ve had to show other Tesla drivers how to do that.